Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Michele Bachmann: A Wonder of Science!

Michele Bachmann's recent remarks have done what no event prior in history was able to do. In just one conference, she single handedly killed more brain cells than the entire human history of drug use, reinforced that you should not fuck your cousins, and has proven that it is not only possible to conceive through anal sex (see below), but also that a fetus can develop and be born from the rectum.

Now, it is known that pregnancy can result from butt sex (in an event lovingly called "splash conception", where the semen makes an incredible journey from the anus into the vagina), but never before has there been a person that was literally born from the ass, until now.

If this is the future of America, our only hope lies with Godzilla. Rest in piece all ye departed brain cells, know that your sacrifice was not in vain like that of your cousins across every college frat house.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Horrific End of the World Weather

So, yesterday we had over a dozen funnel clouds here in MA, two of which touched down and caused some pretty serous damage out in Springfield and the western part of the state. At the time of this writing it's still unclear what the size of the twisters were, but it's estimated to be between EF2 and EF3, last I heard there were four storm related fatalities and there is a state of emergency throughout the commonwealth. Details and video from the devastated areas can be found hereBrimfield, where I went last fall to check out the fair was nearly wiped off the map, and nearby Monson took a pretty severe beating as well.

Worcester wasn't spared either. There were several funnel clouds over the city and many more in the suburbs were I live. Most died out or missed us by swinging to the south, but once a supercell popped up over Worcester and merged with one coming down from Leominster, we had at least three funnel clouds and speculation that at least one may have touched down, it is unknown at this time. I was able to photograph the cell as it came in, and get some images of a funnel cloud trying to touch down right over my hometown, but dissipated about three to five minutes after it first appeared.

The sky was an ugly teal color after this, and a very peculiar auburn as the funnel started to form as you'll see in the photos that follow. This is the worst storm system I've seen in 22 years. The last time this came though was in 1989, and I was barely a toddler. We had a tornado touch down near Northborough near where my dad was working and it came as close to my house as West Boylston. Not sure where it started or ended. But that only produced one, short lived tornado. This one produced at least two and they lasted for over 40 minutes.

By the time the storms merged over me last night, you could hear the roar of a funnel touchdown for about 15 to 25 seconds. At this time, it is unsure whether this was a tornado or very heavily sustained thunder echoing over the area. The freight train sound was classic of a twister but nothing was detected as of this writing.

The following images are linked from my facebook account and document the arrival of the northern supercell and the funnel cloud(s) it produced. You can't see in the stills, but there was some very serious rotation to these.

June 1 Tornado