Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Krowness Goes to Olde Home Days!

Shortly after my trek to the Brimfield Fair, my hometown had it's own little festival and again, I couldn't resist checking it out! Olde Home Days is one of maybe three major events Clinton has to offer, the elementary school's Autumn Walk is sadly one of them.

There really wasn't much going on here, at least compared to Brimfield, but it was nice to finally make the two block walk to the park and see the old biddies and little shits running about as if World War Three had just ended. I had tried to get go this since I launched this site three years ago, but every single time it was rained out by a tropical storm or a Nor' Easter. For the first time in ages, it was actually warm and sunny!

Again, uploading a shit load of pictures to this site is like drinking a liter of corny diarrhea, so I included a link to the public album on facebook with all the commentary. Enjoy!

Olde Home Days!

Krowness Goes to the Brimfield Fair!

I've often wondered; what would you get if the average flea market had a baby with every dusty, dimly lit antique store in a three hundred mile radius? Since it is impossible for inorganic establishments to mate and give birth, there is no real answer to this question. But if I had to take a guess, mine would be The Brimfield Fair.

The town of Brimfield, MA is nestled in the Worcester foothills, has none of the attractions neighboring Sturbridge has (mostly colonial museums and the Old Sturbridge Village) and the nearest grocery store is several miles down the highway. But three times a year for about five days each, the largest collection of clutter, antiques, junk and other assorted knick-knacks Connecticut, New York and Pennsylvania (and a few other states) have to offer wind up in this quaint village. I decided to make the hour long drive just to get a glimpse of this, and boy was it worthwhile! Miles of tents, miles of junk and a shit load of pictures to tell the story!

Even though the new picture system works a lot better than the old one, it is still a pain in the fucking ass to upload 70 large format images in a timely fashion, so I've decided to post the public link to the pictures from my facebook page, it'll be much easier to load, display and look a hell of a lot more organized! Enjoy!

The Brimfield Fair!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

It’s Chewy, It’s Chummy, It’s Piranha 3D!

What has a voracious appetite and jumps off the screen into your lap? If you were to answer with Piranha 3D, you’re wrong. This is a movie that I have a very hard time loving, yet I have a very hard time hating it too. The plot, if it can be called one, is annoyingly simple; an earthquake has opened up fissures underneath Lake Victoria and from the depths thousands of prehistoric piranhas are released, just in time for spring break. But like any horror movie, the plot isn’t what matters so much as the violence, atmosphere and either how much fun or frightening it was.

This is where my love-hate relationship with this movie begins. Unlike other movies, this can be clearly divided into two major parts. In part one, we have a lot of sex, dancing naked girls with breast implants and a scene were two chicks start making out underwater while looking suspiciously like CGI models. The way this is approached is like a thirteen-year-old’s wet dream; frequent use of the 3D effect is incorporated solely to enhance and showcase T&A.

The second part is entirely made up of gory deaths, mutilations and ridiculous violence against partygoers and plenty of fish. If you can look past the various Metalocalypse rip-offs (people being split in half by flying cables and slowly coming undone in a splash of blood is just one such example), it is a disturbing, twisted and completely fun sequence! I was able to do just that and look beyond a few bits of plagiarism here and there and just enjoy the movie, as much as I could anyway, but more on that later.

The infestation is finally halted when our heroes blow up a porno party boat and snuff the majority of the flesh eating fish in the blast. Then we realize that they were just babies and the adults are still out there. If you want to get the full effect of the surprise ending, don’t read this paragraph.

Now, while the movie itself is filled with a variety of clich├ęs, frequent Jaws reverences (even the promotional artwork is a spoof of the original Jaws poster) and a few acts of violence ripped out of a popular cartoon, overall it is quite entertaining and humorous at times (such as the porn producer’s penis getting chewed off, swallowed and then regurgitated towards the audience in brilliant 3D).

Here comes the downside. This is quite possibly the worst 3D experience I’ve ever had. I’m not sure whether this is a result of the filmmaking, the glasses, the theater or the genre as a whole. I found that many of the 3D images were very blurred, or gave an impression of double vision at times depending on where the glasses sat on your face. I found that I had to hold said glasses off of my face and adjust their position periodically to get the full effect. To make this worse, I can’t see the screen without eyeglasses, so any scene where I found this happening, I ended up with quadruple vision!

I also found that halfway through Piranha, I was getting a migraine as result of watching it in 3D. After I had left the theater I was also experiencing problems with depth perception, and very awkward dizziness.

Movie wise, I give Piranha 3.5 out of 5 swords. Grading the 3D imaging as a separate entity altogether, I give it nothing more than half a rusty sword. A rusty sword of shame! May all 3D movies rot in Hell and may this fad end soon!

Monday, September 13, 2010

End To Moderation!

For the past several months, I've had comments to my page moderated and had to go through and approve each one so it could be posted. This was, by no means, done to block hate mail. I love hate mail. There is nothing like getting a poorly constructed rant from an 11 year old who wants to attack my sexuality because I find football to be a disease on humankind and subsequently parading his asshattery about in a rebuttal filled with rude remarks.

The reason I moderated mail was due to a massive influx in spam to my page, all from the same Asian porn blog that did nothing but link to dozens of other sites where their material could only be purchased in yen. These comments have finally ceased and the offenders deleted and banned, so I can finally free up the comment section!

I did go to the two fairs I mentioned last month too, and I will begin posting pictures this week. In the past, posting a photo adventure was a nightmare with this site, and I hope the new interface will improve the problems with formatting, arranging and spacing that I had before. I will also be posting my review of Piranha 3D later tonight.