Sunday, August 9, 2009

More Football Fans? Bring It On Bagboys!

Jim said...

You guys are all fucking faggots who failed at life and blame all problems on "society" instead of realizing you're just an unmasculne loser with no life/sex appeal.

Football is the most physically demanding and manly sport ever. Not to mention strategic. As for your list, you appear to have little understanding of the game itself, focusing only on the commercial, stereotypical, and irrelevant aspects of football such as the advertisements and the "Stolen name"

I played tight end and linebacker on my high school's team, with great grades. I seriously pray for you guys to get lives and stop being jealous of those stronger than you.

I just love how all you football fans claim I'm using stereotypical aspects of the sport when you all easily fit my last point; overreaction. This is a humor website. Jim here has apparently missed the point.

I don't care if you played football in high school. What are you doing now? Something meaningless no doubt as you laid the groundwork for a life of mixing concrete. And what is with calling those who disagree with you "faggots"? Bigoted, homophobic slurs have no place in arguments, nice try Hitler.

You are right though, I have little understanding of the game, and do you know why? Because it's stupid and it sucks. Most manly and demanding sport ever? Ask the ancient Greeks, I think you must be thinking of wrestling and boxing. Or how about the Romans with Gladiator games? Now that is man at its most man. I’d like to see a pussy like you face off against a lion. If I want strategy I will read up on Patton, Eisenhower, Sherman, Attila the Hun, Blackbeard and other real men who did more for their world than throw a ball around; even if what they did was a spree of bloodshed and pillage, which by all accounts is totally awesome.

And who ever said I was jealous? I am a 210 pound muscular Viking bastard. I could kick your ass up and down a football field and skewer you with my sword if I so felt like it. I never once claimed jealousy over a bunch of steroid guzzling gorillas with a collective IQ of 2. So what you got good grades? It was high school. Anyone with basic life skills can hold a freaking good grade in high school. Especially when your math teacher is also your coach; makes something like pre-calculus all the easier. And let's not forget how that D you got in home economics also helped.

I have already ranted about how I have a life and I happen to have great sex appeal. Just ask any of my girlfriends. Not bad for one you would consider a “nerd” or “geek”.

Now get off your computer, and get back to your life at the local Market Basket. Maybe you can be a manager someday.


Budders said...

I'm sorry, but did Jim just say "football is the most physically demanding and manly sport ever"???? He couldn't possibly be more wrong. The only sport less physically demanding out there is golf, but that doesn't require good physical condition. And football isn't manly, as they've clearly outlined here, it's just a excuse for a bunch of secretly gay men to touch each other. Football is the pinnacle of all failure, and I can't possibly find a better way of describing it that a "sissied down version of rugby, as Americans are too girly to play the real thing". You want a real sport? Go check out Hockey, Soccer, Basketball or Rugby. THOSE are real sports, not football.

Ken said...

Jim I have to ask if you are just covering up for being the biggest faggot on earth. Football is not "masculine" it is simply gay. I think you should learn something the world before trying to bash on everyone. Did you even pass middle school or did you just "get by". I believe if you are really that self centered and think we are all "against society" your the one that needs a life. We are not necessarily against society. So... Jim go back to the stove at McDonald's and stop bitching about the people who are truly successful in life.

Benjamin said...

"Unmasculine" actually IS a valid word, as anyone with a dictionary can verify. Other than that I agree with everything you've said, Krowness.

roger said...

heh football isn't strategic at all! its just a bunch of hairy guys standing on a field praying the ball will come to them only so they can catch it and run then dive at the grass

Anonymous said...

I like to call it American Handball, but whatever. No disrespect meant to real handball.

Strategy...? Sport? Funny. I suppose it's strategy, only the "strategy" comes from a guy in a booth who's typing the best "strategic" program into his laptop and then calling it down to the guy in the booth below him (offensive coordinator?) who verifies it and then relays it to the offense coach (via obscene Motorola headphones) who relays it to the QB who "executes" it. Sport? American Handball is sport the way chess is a sport. I love chess, but please. What other great nations host a world championship and don't invite other countries...? Case closed. The superbowl should be re-named "The World Championship of American Handball." Then I might watch it for what it was. While we're at it, we should re-name NASCAR "Football." Why not? It involves the feet... for shifting etc. All you American football retards know I'm right. Suck it.

Anonymous said...

I don't know man... I'd say it's more like a COLLECTIVE, IQ of at LEAST 3. That's for the few who actually did take the time to study.