Saturday, June 14, 2008

The Mist is Stupid and Shitty!

If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s a Stephen King movie. There is nothing good about them. They are three hours long, have a plot so drawn out that you forget what tiny details were given in the beginning which end up leading to the grand finale, monsters that are nothing but terrible CGI effects with teeth and the list goes on. The only one that didn’t suck was The Shining, only because he didn’t get his shitty hands on it. Of course, they had to remake it under his guidance as a TV special, and guess what; it blew.

Some, however, I love to watch just because they are so insanely bad, that they are good. The two that fit this are Trucks and The Mangler. The first is a remake of Maximum Overdrive and the second is about a laundry press possessed by Satan that demands human sacrifice by 16 year old girls on their birthday. Both are incredibly bad but are also incredibly funny. Once I get them on DVD, I’ll do an in depth analysis.

But one film sucks more balls than a Vietnamese crack whore; The Mist. I had the misfortune of watching this, paying for it, and losing half my brain cells in the process. When I rented it, I heard a few things were good, but knew I wasn’t going to get anything worth my while. Seeing that it is Stephen King and all, I figured it was another one of those so bad, it’s good flicks. Right? Wrong!

In fact, I can sum it up in only two, fucking two, points!

That’s about the whole movie. I heard many people say that this ending was so good and such a twist. Yeah and so is taking a shit, or dying. It was the kind of ending that pisses me off because it was obviously thrown together. This film is so shitty that you can’t even play the home version of Mystery Science Theater 3000 with it!

Don’t see The Mist unless you are a masochistic little bastard.


Anonymous said...

Thank fucking god someone else out there hates that loaf of shit as much as I do.

It's all about the twenty minute fucking scene in the grocery store where he's just talking to random assholes about a tentacle:

"hey i need to talk to you"
"what about"
"well i need to tell you about something"
"ok what is it"
"its gonna be kinda hard to believe"
"theres a tentacle"
"well like"
"theres a monster"
"o rly"
"so come see it"
"omg why not"
"bcuz i dont want to"
"ytf not"
"i want to stnad here"
"bcuz your trying 2 trick me"
"no im not"
"well your dumb neway + i dont like you"
"lets ask someone else"
"hey i have something 2 show you"
"wat it is"
"tentacle lol"
"lol wts lies make offer"
"lol nm n e way"

Anonymous said...

holy shit dude that movie sucked ass soo much i didnt even finish it the first time i watched it. i was so pissed that i turned it off halfway thru. but i finally ogt a chance to watch the rest of it a while ago on tv.. and shit, the 2nd half was even worse. and what about that stupid ending. shit that was the stupidest thing ive ever seen. those people are such dumb-asses, i thought they all deserved to die. btw, my favorite part was when the old lady threw some canned good to the annoying lady's face to shut her up.. oh and also when her brains were finally blown out. shit. i hate that movie so much. thank god there are people like you who hate it as much as i do. shit.